Fetish Puzzles

making puzzles is simple, if you have IT, the sense of life and truth amidst..

I very well have it in me, as I know what is good what is bad in "aesthetics" and life energy, body language, but judging people's intention is a bit difficult for me, as I am carried over often by fake love that can be almost as perfect as the real thing at a glance only, btu time tells what it is and I have always found it was not it..people who are grown amongst the ugly, who always see ugly, those good being are carried over abhorring ugly silently, and they dont know the leasure to know real IT or real beauty, just I am often engrossed in seeing and abhorring the negetive that is not the absolute..and I make assumptions and life meanings out of the fear and abhorring that is ugly..and my Aryan 'fear' is a part of 'not liking' ugly..While I have a faint and accurate sense of pretty and good and organised, but my life, environment and habits are all engrossed in and a victim of ugly..in a way ugly is the discourse of life, the destruction or disintegration of life, life in crude meaning is just a chaos, a disintegration of the absolute meaning of art and perfection human wants to make and has some ability to make, to reach near perfection..its a theory, an illusion of perfect, an image of perfect, to reach the meanings in godliness..the crude of life or the evil of death or disintegrated misery are the truth of life..but as much natural and thus non human..human is a natiral being with an unnatural ability to reach order and perfection. Human either means crude natural chaos, or fake artifical perfection. Choose what you like. Perhaps everyone doesnt need to reach perfection, and everyone's state of human achievement or ability is not for us, we are unique in what we are, and we maybe an artificial God or chaotic nature is just our exact and absolute presence, and that is for us, what we make, human abilities are alloted and slotted like different drawers of a table with different natured bills. We are fit and well suited where we reach and what we find and what we live with. This is life then.

What CK made a word puzzle out of, based on this complicated western mind that focuses on making fetish puzzles. The same thing I know very well, but I know it in the meaning and not the technique. I knew very well that in that photo Petra looked very young and attractive, I knew it, just had no need to tell it blatantly, as anyway I had and still have no knowledge why caucasians including me and many north Indians sometimes get red lips, perhaps we have a fertility period when we are fully fertile and promiscuos and aromatic. I never know all this in knowledge, becasue I was never enligtened, becasue parents had never had time to tell me all life's truth, I was a child to know all that according to them, they still never tell, they dont tell me my race that is same as their race, as they think if I am told that we have all caucasian abilities then I might think myself white and demand all things that whites have and thus become spoilt, not realising that I never will or demand riches, I just demanded my rightfull truth that I was never told, and their jealousy for the racial concentration that shows in me and not in my father so much is the reason why they always restricted me, and got my mind ruined with lack of knowledge, allowance and thus all the loneliness away from the chance to live, I could have lived anywhere, I could have got Aryan Indian girls if I knew life realities and propelled with the knowledge of life realities and wisely, but I was never told.

CK also knew the same that Petra was looking Hot in that imagery, and that it was a sexually suggestive and teasing or caucasian pride imagery with red lips and mischieve..and he expressed it in a suggestive 'fuck' phrase..even the phrase was not his original construct, it was an ages old art phrase. I was hurt by the applicability of the phrase in reference to Petra..that Phrase has ruined and put me in this chaos disintegration spree..specially when Petra herself doesnt chat back to tell nothing was wrong and she was not a bitch. But she thinks herself a bitch and in that guilt he is not facing me, she thinks I want a Goddess of virtue, its not so intense a desire really..I know her care and attention for me while she is will be commited, and so much a man needs, I dont judge her by her all life or other life acts, but till then 'she was meant mine'..she should have gently disclosed she wanted to part, or should not have addicted me to her company, rather than one day leaving me an orphan just for me to know that my life doesnt find her, and when I know that she had thrown me away and blocked all my passages that its too late, and that I still cant forget that there was a Petra in whose longing I lost my senses of mendikng my life to earn and earn a living, that she really abandoned me, and valued Ck's weird fuck phrase, naming it "not being ignorant"..I was already since years on a train of deciphering and writing out life, my pain and seek for the meanings of life aggravated with her parting, and now my writings are everywhere in deviant art, and a lot of other decipherations that I never recoreded but were spoken to my family in verbal voice, a lot of family aggravated shoutings, and my parents now dont find me a lovikng son, I have ran out of working age, anyway my life with tobacco and that was addicted to me by a Dravidian has taken and slowed and derailed all my study, life conduct, wellness, health, career, fertility, genetics, hygeine, life assurance, family love, girl friend, children, sister's desire to have good brother, my dead pet do who never saw my happiness, my Aryan granma who lost her desires in seeing my success in my life..so much tobacco has made me lose, so much my fall for internet fetish has made me lose, so much the fake sense of finding quick love has made me lose..of which all of the negetive habits and negetive environment has been afflicted and given to me by non Aryans..in deed!! My life found wrong self destructing internal paths years and years ago, perhaps since my first school life, my parents realised that I was totally destroyed and productive for family happiness when it was too late, they never caught or could stop the negetive cycles my mind and habits had rode on. The environment was corrupt, so was corrupt the people around. They are living and have all gained caucasian woman, the apex of desires, only I found nothing, perhaps wont find!!

My first substance abuse started with sweet betel nut pouches that some low boys promoted eating in boy clubs, when I said to them that it has a slogan on it "its injurious to health"..they said "no, it has a green food product quality symbol(FP)on it, that means its safe and good for health rather, that is has sweet and dates along with betel nuts and it does good for health"..that very same habit of chewing alien substance orally made me induced to begin other oral addictions, bad boys, bad time, bad environment, bad behaviour and bad luck made me totally be ruined.