Petra told me quit

all this junk madness and stalker behaviour and mad infatuation of mine on deviant art is not really my original self

what addiction does is create a false and deviated and perverted replica of the original self...the addicted us is not really the normal us..

all what i cannot change in life...all those years of loss...lost love...i should have studied in a better school...had better friends...lived in a better neighbourhood...

if i quit it, something will change...something for better...but i have already lost a great chunk of my well and happy life and youth and ability of persistence and love even in the future...and as i write this, i have again put tobacco in lips