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I really want to have a real life..
I want to go out of home...
such stagnation and panick I face..
social anxiety..feeble mentality..
Great DifferenceThere is a great difference between white and nonwhite...
dont know its their religion, but there is no one else's spirit of self sacrifice greater than Europids and Christians.
Often I dont want to imagine how nonwhites abuse that...
what do those whites get from endless pains? acting God? Human has only one life in conscience, or do they think they are bearing Karma?
Real doctors are Gods, so are paramadics and psychologists...I mean the real dedicated ones...sick is how those dogged patients with only one pervert lust abuse them...
I woe today, I will never keep desire for that lust. Anyway I dont like to imagine it with a woman that looks more like a teacher or preacher, never had....pagan caucasians are more enchanting in the desire charms...but females are weird..who knows what all complexity lies underneath...any other human...
anyway I am out of order...let me now decide to retire from lust...happy birthday...
The Coffee GodThe Coffee God behind the counter shuffles foot to foot, a dance of steam and espresso. Black painted fingernails, inch gauged ears and a gray striped sweatshirt, hood crooked on his back. There's a cigarette tucked behind one ear; it bobs and twitches with each step.
“Non-fat caramel latte,” he calls, just as he always does, part of a spell, part of a mantra, toneless (just a tuck at the end). I reach. He looks up.
The espresso maker hisses.
There's something like a grin, something like a spark, something like a shared secret linked eye to eye. When he passes over the drink (rough cardboard sleeve hot to the touch), he lingers. Our fingers brush, a shiver, a jolt, a ten-watt shock.
The Coffee God tilts his chin, shouts, “Hey, mind if I take my break now?”
and ducks around the counter without waiting for a reply.
He slips his cigarette between his lips without taking his eyes from mine. I follow him out the door.
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